KFC is the Capitalist Dream

KFC is the brainchild of capitalism.

McDonalds is a fart in the wind when it comes to the Asian fast food scene.

Burger King? Come on, good food, but it’s nowhere near as widespread as its competition.

KFC now…I’ve come to admire how they have dominated the local market for fast food and are having a lasting impression on the population.

What, you haven’t heard about KFC in China? Not only is it the first fast food restaurant chain to be allowed to enter the country once the government doors opened up once again, it’s also the market leader in nearly all aspects. From their tasty chicken sandwiches to the traditional fried chicken, nothing beats a nice fattening KFC meal in the middle of the day.

Really, they’re making bank too! In 2004 a simple combo meal of a sandwich, drink, and fries would cost a total of 18 RMB (then approximately $2.18 US at the old conversion rate of 8.26 RMB to 1 USD). Now in 2009 the same meal costs 24 RMB in Xu Jia Hui (southern downtown Shanghai), which equates to around $3.50 (now with the conversion rate of 6.83 RMB to 1 USD). That’s an increase of over 60% revenue over the past 5 years for the Colonel.

Way to go home team!

Yummy yummy for my fat tummy...

But money alone isn’t the only benefit KFC is getting from China. Where would we be if we didn’t bring a bit of our culture here as well?

Bit by bit, local Chinese boys and girls are becoming more and more American, or at least in their waist lines. How’s this for a kicker? Just take kids under age 6 and only look at obesity (not just being fat asses). In 2007 3.6% of all kids were obese, compared to 0.42% in 1986 (check it out here).

Still, is making people fat in the ass the true goal?

No, through hormones and supplements there are greater targets at stake:

Enlarged mammaries.

Even if the constant buzz about huge hormone doses going into all of our food sources wasn’t true the simple fact is that the fat content of the food helps contribute to providing us with delicious, tantalizing folds of fat with joyous little nubbins at their peaks.

Just take this lovely little girl from the Fat Beauty competition as an example (if you ignore all the other less-desirable folds):

Spread them legs, hot stuff!

Still don’t believe it’s true? Check out this article that tracks breast sizes in the world.

In Asia in the 80’s, just when KFC was getting ramped up to come here, the average breast size was 34A. Now we’re at a lovely 34C from the 90’s onward.

God bless America.

Of course it wouldn’t be in true Angry LaoWai fashion to let this slide without any complaint, so to be fair I *AM* a bit peeved at my own expanding gut.

Still, I think I’ll bite the bullet on this one. Here’s one big salute to the Capitalist Colonel.

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